The Whale and the DoorDasher: Discovering Purpose in the Daily Grind

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“Hope is the thing with feathers / That perches in the soul / And sings the tune without the words / And never stops at all” ~ Emily Dickenson

Why are you here now?
Or, put another way. What is your purpose?

It’s been a minute since I’ve read Moby Dick, but the one quote that sticks out is a description of Captain Ahab:

He piled upon the whale’s white hump the sum of all the general rage and hate felt by his whole race from Adam down; and then, as if his chest had been a mortar, he burst his hot heart’s shell upon it.

In Salisbury University English professor John Wenke’s 2001 paper “Ahab and ‘The Larger, Darker, Deeper Part’ describes Ahab as a “monomaniacal schemer-hunter”, that Ahab’s own single-mindedness drove him to madness. The term monomaniacal of course derives from the novel itself, a condition in which someone is extremely interested in one thing. In Ahab’s case, his singular purpose, his one thing, is the white whale, the revenge for the loss of his leg. And in the end, the harpooned whale drags Ahab into the sea and to his death, the entire ship destroyed and everyone who followed Ahab perishes. Except, of course Ishmael, who floats across the water atop a coffin. Ahab’s obsession, his one thing, his soul purpose took everything and everyone around him down.

I think about this kind of obsessive purpose driven life a lot in relation to my recent departure with higher education. I still love teaching, and the classroom is where I thought I was meant to be for the rest of my life. True purpose should uplift us and others, not drag us down into the depths of frustration and burnout. It’s about bringing hope, yes, but it’s also about knowing when it’s time to move on.

In a recent article in Psychology Today, Tara Ceranic Salinas, a professor of business ethics and department chair of management at the Knauss School of Business at the University of San Diego, and Ed Love, a professor of marketing and department chair at Western Washington University, write about why zookeepers keep zookeeping despite the incredibly low pay and very slim chance for advancement. Salinas and Love could have easily replaced the word Zookeeper with adjunct professor, and their article would have been the same exact article.

I remember participating in an accreditation forum (which I did not get paid for) where adjunct professors were asked about support and departmental resources and other such questions. One of the fellow adjuncts sitting behind me stood up and said, “I will teach for free. If you take away my paycheck. Fine, fine. Whatever. Put me in the classroom.” The meeting wasn’t even about pay, but that particular semester I think I was making $6000 for a four-month period of full-time but no benefits labor. Almost every day I worried about putting gas in my car and students sometimes actually fed me. But teaching—this was what I was supposed to be doing, wasn’t? And the administration not only played into my own idea of vocation, but also everyone else’s vocational beliefs.

What motivates you to action should really be, at any given time, driven by three fundamental paradigms: goals, seasonal purposes, and a lifetime purpose.

Goals: A goal is a specific target you aim to achieve, often measurable and time-bound. It’s something you work towards, like getting a promotion, completing a project, or achieving a certain income level. Goals are often short- to mid-term and can change frequently based on your circumstances and priorities.

Purpose: Purpose is broader and more existential. It reflects your core motivations, values, and the impact you want to have on the world. Purpose can guide your decisions and help you navigate life’s challenges, providing a sense of direction and meaning beyond just achieving specific outcomes.

Seasonal Purposes: A purpose in general is broad and more existential than a goal. A purpose reflects your core motivations, values, and the impacts you want to have on the world. Purpose can guide your decisions and goals and help you navigate life’s challenges, providing a sense of direction and meaning beyond just achieving specific outcomes.

A seasonal purpose is fluid and context-dependent. It reflects what is relevant and meaningful to you during a specific period in your life. For example, while I may have felt my season’s purpose was to be a dedicated teacher, as conditions changed, I recognized that it might be time to pivot to something new. Another good example is parenthood. A parent’s purpose is to nurture, protect, and guide their children toward becoming happy, healthy, and responsible adults. And although this situation may end, or your kid might turn out to be a total jerk (something you don’t have control over) what you have set forth to do during this time-period or season in your life is more than just a simple goal.

Lifetime Purpose: This refers to a guiding principle or overarching mission that stays with you throughout your life. It often aligns with your values and passions and may not change significantly over time. For example, if your lifetime purpose is to inspire others through education, that will inform various aspects of your life and career. Just because I no longer contract with a community college does not mean that I’m no longer involved in teaching or inspiring others through learning.

The zookeeper authors Salinas and Love explain that “When we limit ourselves to vocations typically tied to our passions, we take power away from ourselves… [that] finding and following your purpose can lead to a reduced sense of fulfillment and authenticity.”

Salinas and Love argue that despite a zookeeper’s initial passion and qualifications, these laborers often have less negotiating power because they love their work so much, which employers exploit. This can lead to tougher conditions, lower pay, and frustration as they feel undervalued in a job they care deeply about.

We can get into how I believe higher education is quickly transforming into a for-profit business model: the selling of an experience over an education, the over-valuation of higher administration and football coaches alongside the under-valuation of faculty, the increased need to measure success on students securing a job after graduation. Etcetera etcetera. I can talk about how course loads got heavier. That I was pushed into teaching subjects I had no expertise in. For example I was never trained to teach students with severe learning disabilities in a developmental writing class where the student couldn’t even tell you the difference between a noun and a verb. Or how I have zero foundation in Western Civilization and yet taught that class too. The job conditions were getting tougher and tougher, and when I inquired about full-time employment the response was always, “We’d love to hire you full-time, Steve. But we just can’t.”

Towards the end, I seriously wondered if teaching was still my passion and purpose.

Salinas and Love say you should find the intersection between your passion and purpose “with real needs in the workforce. Instead of a zookeeper perhaps you pursue becoming an animal nutritionist. […] Aligning with unfulfilled demand gives you leverage when negotiating and encourages the employer to be more accommodating. Employers pay a premium for unique skill sets that can help them fulfill their mission.” Italics added are mine for emphasis.

Like for example a teacher turning real estate agent drawing on his deep knowledge of the local market with a personalized, educational approach—a real estate agent who connect his clients through seminars, newsletters, blogs, and social media, blending his teaching background into his business by focusing on educating and empowering buyers and sellers. An agent who aims to build meaningful, long-term relationships with his clients—that’s like all of the things I used to do teaching in the classroom.

In a wonderful essay by Zach Mercurio, he tells the story of walking to class on a winter morning. A campus facilities worker spotted him and cleared a path through the snow just for him. Zach asked him, “How are you?” and he responded, “As long as I can get you to where you’re going, I’m a happy man.”

In his essay My Problem with Purpose, James Routledge realizes that he has lived underneath the false assumption that not realizing his full potential “is a sin, a wasted life.” Just because Routledge doesn’t have a higher calling, a vocation, a passion or purpose, doesn’t mean his life is meaningless.

Most of the business and career advice self-help books I’ve been reading lately like The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan or Start With Why by Simon Sinek talk about purpose.

Keller and Papasan argue that identifying your primary focus or “one thing” is crucial for achieving extraordinary results in both personal and professional life. They encourage individuals to clarify what truly matters to them. This central focus helps prioritize tasks and eliminates distractions, allowing people to align their actions with their long-term goals. Keller suggests that having a clear sense of purpose simplifies decision-making and enhances productivity, as it helps individuals concentrate their efforts on what is most impactful.

Sinek argues that understanding and articulating the “Why”—the underlying purpose or belief that drives actions—is essential for inspiring others and achieving lasting success. He posits that organizations and individuals who start with their purpose can create a deeper emotional connection with others, leading to greater loyalty and motivation. For Sinek, knowing your “Why” is fundamental in guiding actions and decisions, thereby fostering a sense of purpose that resonates with both leaders and followers.

Both books emphasize that understanding one’s purpose is vital for personal fulfillment and success. Keller focuses on narrowing down one’s efforts to achieve extraordinary outcomes, while Sinek’s stresses the importance of clearly articulating one’s beliefs and motivations to inspire others.

Keller and Sinek both seem to target entrepreneurs, business professionals, and leaders as their ideal readers. And many of these readers likely have access to resources such as education, time for self-improvement, and opportunities for entrepreneurship, which are often associated with upper middle and upper class. A report by the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation indicates that the majority of entrepreneurs come from higher-income backgrounds due to the capital required to start and sustain a business. Additionally, the books’ emphasis on productivity and high achievement suggests an audience that is already striving for success, typically found in upper middle class and above.

I’d been living the zookeeper life for so long, trying to figure out how to get through the summer with various part-time jobs, not knowing how many classes I’d be teaching from semester to semester as well as wondering how many colleges and universities I’d be driving between—at one point, I held seven different email accounts. Here I was in the awkward position of building up other peoples’ lives while at the same time myself feeling particularly aimless.

Back in the day, I used to deliver pizzas for Domino’s and Papa Johns for a stint as well. I loved the job. I mean, there were parts I did not like such as washing all those dishes every night, sweeping and mopping floors, incessant box folding. But I had two very clear goals every night I delivered: 1) make as much money as possible and 2) make myself so valuable in-store that the manager would give me the shifts that were the most lucrative. It was not unusual for me to take an order, make the pizza, cut and box the pizza, and then deliver the pizza. I knew how to cash-out drivers, and I even trained new drivers. My purpose was 100% cash.

I’m embarrassed to say that the 100% cash driven purpose turned me into quite the racist. I often found myself in the bathroom when a delivery was scheduled to go to either a predominately African American neighborhood or a predominantly wealthy neighborhood because chances were that neither of those groups would tip. Mexicans and Catholic priests? Well, the Mexicans would tip at least 100% of the purchase and sometimes even more. The priests? If you made a stop at the local liquor store, they’d reimburse you for the booze and be quite generous with the tip—not as generous as the Mexicans, but worth your time. Poor neighborhoods I tried to avoid. Lower middle class was where it was at because they seemed to understand the value of a dollar and knew you were hustling as hard as you could—so maybe they weren’t as lucrative as the priests, but they were better paying than the black neighborhoods and wealthy gated-communities.

Then, one night, Jeff the store owner called a meeting because a bunch of drivers weren’t wearing their cartoppers. “Wear the toppers. Light them up, especially at night. Drive through the city as a beacon of hope for the hungry masses.” For the Jeff, pizza wasn’t just about making as much money as possible. Pizza was about providing hope, and what a total and complete mind-shift for me.

Delivering pizzas wasn’t simply about the cash anymore. I began carrying extra paper plates, extra napkins, an assortment of dipping sauces, and dog treats in my car. All of a sudden it didn’t matter which neighborhood I was driving to.

My goal was to feed hungry people and my purpose was to bring hope.

I mean, I was already exceptionally good at what I did. An average Friday night was like three hundred bucks in tips. But, back in the day that was really kind of average for any driver worth their salt. Unexpectantly though, my shift in focus made me the most requested and highest tipped driver in the store.

That one company store meeting changed the course of my entire pizza delivery career. The idea of bringing people hope is what led me down the teaching in higher education path. But I was stuck in a job—an institution—that was never going to promote me, never going to give me a livable wage, never going to appreciate me for more than a just a warm body. And I was stuck because I confused a goal for a purpose.

Salinas and Love write that “fulfilling work is important, but your work is not your life, and you are not your work.” A serious reminder that while meaningful work is important, it’s crucial not to let your identity be entirely defined by your job.

I recently attended a daylong workshop by Antoinette Perez in association with Wednesday Workshop titled PLUS: Pursue Your Life’s Unique Significance. The workshop is designed to help people tap into their true potential by discovering and pursuing what makes their lives uniquely significant. The workshop focuses on helping participants identify their core purpose, align their actions with their values, and achieve personal fulfillment and high performance amid life’s chaos.

The workshop was presented at free of charge for real estate agents within the Keller Williams Coastal footprint. I would not have attended if the workshop had an associated cost as recent circumstances have left me in a paycheck-to-paycheck situation, a kind of hand to mouth moment, where I go run some DoorDash deliveries to put food on the table—a temporary lack of money situation for certain, but one that I have definitely forgotten what was like.

And poverty does creates a sense of isolation.

DoorDash is kinda weird experience for me in general, to be honest. Your phone notifies you when you have an order to pick up from a restaurant. You go to the restaurant and grab the bag of food. You take a picture of receipt. You get back into your car and your phone tells you where to take the food. You place the food on the doorstep and take a picture of the food on the doorstep. Never once do you ever really speak with anyone. Unlike pizza delivery back in the day when you had a central store you hung out at and pretty much knew all your customers by first name—or at least by what they ordered. Sometimes you run into other DoorDashers. We stand silently inside restaurants waiting for other people’s food to be finished, and I get really really weird looks whenever I attempt to start up a conversation of any sort. No one wants to admit that they are out there delivering food to make ends meet.

The connection between social isolation and poverty was explored at the Overcoming Isolation and Deepening Social Connectedness symposium, where experts like Dr. Sabina Alkire and Kennedy Odede emphasized the importance of grassroots initiatives to tackle these intertwined challenges. The panel noted that many people misunderstand the relationship between mental health and poverty, and emphasized the need for bridging gaps between different socioeconomic groups. This poverty-isolation issue is not just prevalent in third world locations but first-world places like Canada and the U.S.

DoorDash is the hardest, roughest job I’ve ever had. I can work an entire day for a hundred bucks and still have to pay for the gas to put in the car. My brakes are wearing thin. When you are worried about food, the dinner table quickly gets confused for your purpose—except that meal is not purpose. At best, obtaining food is only a goal. But eating sure feels like purpose when you are hungry.

Basic Maslow, really. The more basic needs you’ve crossed off the list, the more able you are to self-actualize

Tightrope: Americans Reaching for Hope by Nicholas Kristof and Reading Classes by Barbara Jensen discuss the unequal access to personal growth opportunities, highlighting how financial privilege enables individuals to focus on self-fulfillment. Similarly, texts like The Culture of Poverty by Oscar Lewis and The Death of Class by Pakulski and Waters explore how systemic inequalities limit certain groups’ ability to engage in personal development beyond survival.

Basically, people from wealthier classes tend to have the luxury of exploring various interests, hiring life coaches, attending workshops, and engaging in self-discovery practices, while those from working-class or lower-income backgrounds are more focused on meeting basic needs. The leisure time required for such pursuits is often inaccessible to individuals who work multiple jobs or live paycheck-to-paycheck.

Tori DeAngelis, writing for the American Psychological Association, reports in her essay, Class Differences, agrees. “People with more self-defined power—an ingredient often associated with higher classes—were more likely than low-power people to report having a coherent self-view.” She goes on to explain that people who have more money and more resources are able to “enhance their personal power and freedom […] These [wealth] conditions give rise to a more self-focused approach to life.”

Thus, the notion of finding one’s purpose can be inherently classist, as self-discover yoften requires the financial means and societal positioning to make such introspection possible. However, DeAngelis also purports that “social status isn’t just about the cars we drive, the money we make or the schools we attend—it’s also about how we feel, think and act.”

Ahab was inherently a loner. When Ishmael asks to see the Captain, he’s told, “I don’t know exactly what’s the matter with him; but he keeps close inside the house; a sort of sick, and yet he don’t look so. In fact, he ain’t sick; but no, he isn’t well either. Any how, young man, he won’t always see me, so I don’t suppose he will thee.” Ahab’s self-imposed isolation never allows him to veer from his obsession—what he believes to be his purpose: killing the great white whale.

Yet, killing the whale is not a purpose. Killing the whale is only a goal. Ahab’s true purpose was to transcend nature—to assert his dominance over the natural world. When Starbuck suggests they turn back, Ahab’s self-imposed isolation allows him to remain focused on the whale. Ahab’s own feelings, his own thinking, his own actions keep him trapped.

Perez’s Pursue Your Life’s Unique Significance workshop made a clear distinction between what was a goal versus what was a purpose. Perez said that a purpose could never actually be fulfilled in your own lifetime, that you could at best only contribute toward the fulfilling the purpose, you could only push the needle a little further than it was before you got involved. She used her own life-purpose as an example—that of closing the gender pay gap.

The One Thing, Start With Why, All You Need is a Goal, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Atomic Habits—if you’re familiar with any of those books, I think they get one aspect of it all wrong. I think they tend to confuse goals for purposes. Or maybe they confuse seasonal purposes over sustainable long-lasting unique significance? The word purpose becomes a modern catch-all, so I think we have to be super clear about our definitions when we are talking purpose.

Are we talking seasonal purpose, life purpose, or are we talking goal? And how does the goal serve your purposes?

You know, I had to rewrite this entire essay because of Perez. She is the one who pointed out to me this nuance of meaning, that difference between goal and purpose. But I would not have ever taken the workshop if Keller Williams Coastal and Lakes and Mountains hadn’t put together the event in the first place and would not have offered the workshop to agents for free.

Towards the end of her essay, Tori DeAngelis cites a study where cultural and class differences make huge performance differences in school. The study followed kids from third grade moving to fifth grade where they discovered struggling middle-class kids receiving more teacher attention because they actively sought out the help, while working class kids did not receive as much attention because “they didn’t want to bother the teachers.” Additionally, the middle-class parents inserted themselves into their children’s schooling—attending parent-teacher conferences, checking PowerSchool, or whatever app they are using these days. Whereas the working-class parents thought “it rude to insert themselves in their children’s schooling.” In other words, even though both groups of students were entitled to teacher attention, only those who were wealthy felt they were entitled to the help.

“As the world continues to shrink, it’s more important than ever that we understand the subjective nature of such cultural dichotomies,” writes DeAngelis. “Social class differences come about because of the ideas and values you are surrounded by, the types of social interactions you have at home, school and work, and the sorts of institutional practices and policies that are common in your community.” she says.

Even if you are poor or are working-class, you can choose who you surround yourself with, which will in turn create a lifting of personal attitudes and values.

You may or may not be aware that Maslow based his hierarchy of needs off a three-year visit with the Siksika (us whites say “Blackfoot”).

“Maslow saw a place where what he would later call self-actualization was the norm,” writes Teju Ravilochan in his essay The Blackfoot Wisdom that Inspired Maslow’s Hierarchy. While Maslow’s theory focuses on individual self-actualization, the Siksika emphasize community actualization. For the Siksika, self-actualization is inherent at birth rather than earned, and meeting basic needs is a communal responsibility. Researchers like Ryan Heavy Head and Narcisse Blood have further studied Sisksika influences on Maslow, arguing that Indigenous ideas of connectedness to place and community were integral but overlooked in Maslow’s theories. “Maslow discovered astounding levels of cooperation, minimal inequality, restorative justice, full bellies, and high levels of life satisfaction,” writes Ravilochan.

Zach Mercurio wondered about the facilities worker who shoveled him the personal path through the snow. He wondered if the worker had read a book about purpose or if he’d quit his day job to pursue his dream of shoveling snow. Was he shoveling snow for the money?

“He could,” Mercurio writes, “answer the question that most of us struggle to on a daily basis. Why you, here, now?”

Where DoorDash is one of the loneliest jobs I’ve ever had, real estate is one of the most cutthroat ego-driven competitive industries I have ever been involved in. I don’t know anyone in the industry that has said slinging houses was their dream job. I know a ton of people who said real estate was Plan B, and Plan B had better work because there was no Plan C, but we are also all out in the cold just shoveling snow.

In the end, purpose is not a fixed point. It’s fluid, evolving with us as we change and grow. My teaching career, like my time delivering pizzas, taught me that purpose isn’t just about what we do, but how we choose to do it—and whom we bring hope to along the way.

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