Inspired by Executive Councilor Ray Burton, I first became involved in NH politics and in 1988 ran for the House of Representatives. I was blessed to serve six terms, and it was a wonderful experience. In 1998, though, I gave a State House speech expressing concern: “The level of civility among House members has declined in recent years. This seems to be happening at all levels of government and, indeed, throughout society. We can show people a better way.”
Things have obviously gotten worse since then, and it was no surprise that polarization was recently selected as Merriam-Webster’s word of the year.
I was saddened by the recent death of folk singer Peter Yarrow (of Peter, Paul, and Mary fame). I first met Peter back in 2010 when I ran the Peace Corps in Ukraine and Peter came to promote his anti-bullying campaign Operation Respect. We reconnected after a 2019 NH concert, and Peter told me about Braver Angels (then called Better Angels). I checked it out and have volunteered ever since with this national organization bringing Americans together to bridge the partisan divide. The goal is not to change people’s views of issues, but to change their views of each other.
NH House of Representatives Speaker Sherman Packard invited us to implement a legislative workshop in December 2021. Bill Doherty, Braver Angels co-founder and University of Minnesota family therapy professor, facilitated a ”red-blue” workshop for six Republican and six Democratic state reps. The goal was understanding the experiences and beliefs of colleagues, discovering areas of commonality and developing ideas for improving the functioning of the legislature.
Participant comments afterward included: “We know each other politically but not personally,” “We made assumptions about other people’s motives that are not always correct,” and, “It is vital for us to get to know each other on a human scale.”
Since that first workshop, Patricia Higgins (a former Democratic state representative) and other volunteers have organized multiple events for NH elected officials. This effort has also filtered down to communities, including a “Skills for Bridging the Divide” workshop in Brentwood at the request of Rep. Eric Turer. Afterward, he wrote: “There were pairs of people in that room who were having engaging conversations who likely have never spoken to each other (or haven’t in years).” Six months later, Turer said the workshop had “left a lasting mark on Brentwood” and shared a video of community discussion on decreased animosity in town.
We are especially excited that there is now a bipartisan caucus of NH state legislators called the Granite Bridge Legislative Alliance (GBLA). The GBLA, co-chaired by Democrat Alicia Gregg and Republican Katelyn Kuttab, promotes understanding others and working together in a spirit of mutual respect. The GBLA is the first Braver Angels-inspired caucus in the nation, and there is great interest in replicating this model in other states. NH is leading the way!
On December 19, 2024, more than 90 representatives attended our sixth legislative workshop which focused on skills for managing difficult conversations with colleagues. Speaker Packard told participants, “Even when we disagree, we must always strive to engage with understanding and respect.” Tom Cormen, a Democratic member of the GBLA Steering Committee, added: “When I talk with people I disagree with, I find the good in them. Just because we disagree on policy doesn’t mean that they’re bad people.”
At the close, I told the representatives, “You are leaders and role models and people are watching. Maybe how you treat each other is more important than any legislation you may pass.” For sure, this work is not easy, and there are enormous disincentives for elected officials to bridge the divide, no matter what they might think or feel in their hearts. But there is hope, and we are moving forward!
Another volunteer Beth Malow and I are writing a book with the fundamental idea that each of us can make an important contribution to building a nation of kindness, dignity and respect. We offer ways to mend relationships with friends and family, as well as skills to empower people when difficult conversations about politics arise with neighbors and work colleagues.
We each have an extraordinary opportunity to make a difference in people’s lives, including our own. Don’t underestimate your impact!
Douglass P. Teschner, founder of Growing Leadership LLC, can be reached at dteschner@GrowingLeadershipLLC.com.
