I can’t understand this fascination for texting. It was originally considered a means for getting a quick answer from someone, and it had to be important enough to justify interrupting them no matter what they were doing. Now, it’s often used for the most trivial things.
One day I was going sailing and a friend asked me to take a woman along. That was fine; she was pretty and a pleasant companion. We’re sailing along on a beautiful day, and she starts punching away on her phone. When I asked what she was doing, she replied, “Texting my husband.”
“Why not just call him?” “I’m mad at him and don’t want to talk to him right now.”
I guess that’s another good reason for texting. Is it less of a fight that way?
All this technology, which should be helping us, is taking over and causing us to lose our personal touch with each other.
Since the beginning of time, the most effective form of communication has always been person to person. In fact, having a meal together is a great way to begin a relationship, whether it’s by the campfire in front of a cave, in the great hall of a medieval castle, or at a local restaurant.
It’s why salespeople have expense accounts. If you’re selling big-ticket items, you have to build a trusting relationship and that can take months.
Of course, in-person meetings are not always possible. The next best way is a phone call, where we can hear each other’s voices. With today’s technology, we can actually see each other if we use a computer connected to the internet and Skype, Zoom or any number of platforms. It’s not as good as in person, but it’s the next best way.
Personal or business letters come next. If you put it on nice stationery, you’re letting the recipient know you think they’re worth it. This has become far less common because of email, which is instantaneous. Regardless of the medium, content is important. Every word should be carefully chosen and properly spelled with appropriate grammar.
Many people don’t realize they’re displaying their intelligence and education, or lack thereof, in each message. It’s incredible how much we can learn about someone just from reading what they write.
I went to an engineering school, and the general feeling was that we were trying to become engineers not English teachers. So, I’d ask if it was important to get the formula right. “Of course!” Well, what we write is just another formula. You can come up with the most brilliant idea, but it’s going to take a lot of effective and accurate communication to turn that idea into a product or service which would be profitable. We don’t have to teach English, but we’re not going to get very far if we can’t use it well.
Typically, when someone contacts us, we should respond in the same medium. Few things are more insulting than leaving a phone message for someone and receiving a text, which doesn’t even answer the question in response. That’s how to let someone know they’re not important enough for us to take the time to talk with them. We’re too busy to talk to them. Remember the lady who was too angry to speak with her husband?
I know someone who does that to his bosses, and he just can’t understand why they’re not more supportive. I don’t think he realizes he’s on the verge of getting fired. He thinks everyone else is doing things wrong.
I never thought I would find myself writing an article like this. These are the kinds of things we expect everyone to already know, but our experience tells us differently. I can’t help but wonder how many people would be far more successful if they knew about and practiced common courtesy.
Admittedly, that’s far less important to many of our younger people today, but it’s still important to many of our bosses, customers and those who control the purse strings. Regardless of what we do, we can’t get far without the support of many in most endeavors.
Courtesy is often the grease that enables everyone to work together. Yes, there are a few very successful people who ignore these rules, but they tend to have incredible talents and skills that make them indispensable, regardless of how much they’re disliked. Most of us aren’t that gifted, and a little attention to courtesy can make a huge difference in our success.
Ronald J. Bourque, a consultant and speaker from Salem, has had engagements throughout the United States, Europe and Asia. He can be reached at RonBourque3@gmail.com or www.bourqueai.com
