Andrew Bryant defines self-leadership as, “having a developed sense of who you are, what you can do, where you are going coupled with the ability to influence your communication, emotions and behaviors on the way to getting there.”
Who do you want to be? Where do you want to go in your life? What gives you meaning? I recently spotted this quote on Facebook: “If you’re searching for that one person who can change your life, look in the mirror.”
Too often in our busy lives, we skim along life’s surface without being sure we are investing time and energy in what is most important. If we fail to set aside time for self-development — including periodic reviews and adjustments — we can quickly lose our way, and frustration and regret are likely outcomes. These are a few areas to consider to up your self-leadership game.
Believe in yourself. When interviewed by Oprah Winfrey, Tom Brady said about his football successes: “I think the greatest thing for you is to believe in yourself, because if you don’t believe in yourself, who’s going to believe in you?”
Embrace hope and a growth mindset. There is so much to be discouraged about these days, but holding on to hope and optimism is essential to help find ways to learn and grow. Embrace the idea that life is a journey with countless opportunities for self-improvement.
Review your life story. List the decisions that had a major impact on who you are today, as well as actions that influenced others. What worked well and what not so well? What might you do more, and what might you want to do differently? What do you do well and enjoy?
Model your values. “Your fundamental values and beliefs represent the core of who you are,” argue James Kouzes and Barry Posner in their book “Learning Leadership.” If you aren’t clear about your values, you won’t be clear about your decisions. Write down your top values and periodically reflect on how you are living them.
Authenticity and self-awareness. Be on the lookout for areas where your actions might not measure up to your values. We all make this mistake sometimes, and ongoing check-ins and reflection help us stay on track. Be true to yourself and clear about how you show up in daily life.
Build trust. Achieving trust requires understanding how our actions and behaviors impact others. In “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” Stephen Covey writes, “It simply makes no difference how good the rhetoric is or even how good the intentions are; if there is little or no trust, there is no foundation for permanent success.”
Use your time wisely. Covey reminds us to “put first things first.” So much of our lives are tied up in urgent obligations and responsibilities, but ensuring there is time for important (but not immediately urgent) activities is essential to create a meaningful life.
Embrace gratitude as a key to happiness. Brené Brown observes: “I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness; it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.” Cynthia Whitaker, CEO of Greater Nashua Mental Health, wrote in this publication’s December 4, 2020, issue, “Expressing gratitude is simply taking the time to consider all the positive things in life, big and small.”
Empathy, curiosity and humility. Striving to understand another’s perspective might seem like a lost art these days, but it cannot be emphasized enough. Engaging and asking questions in the spirit of curiosity are essential. Humility is closely related, requiring us to be open to the ideas of others.
Be mindful and present. As I am reminded in daily mediation practice, living in the present is an invaluable life skill. When engaging with others, we show them we care by giving our undivided attention. Developing emotional intelligence is an area where most can benefit from personal improvement.
What steps could you take to up your self-leadership skills? Are you clear about your core values and how you apply them? How are you doing at integrating empathy, authenticity, curiosity and gratitude in your daily life? What can you do to develop more trust?
We each have an extraordinary opportunity to make a difference in people’s lives, including our own. Don’t underestimate your impact!
Douglass P. Teschner, founder of Growing Leadership LLC, can be reached at dteschner@Growing-LeadershipLLC.com.
