Gravestones to Closings by Coffee With Steve

I don’t know how many times I read The Millionaire Real Estate Agent by Gary Keller and friends when it finally dawned upon me what the heck a system is.

The true crazy thing is that I was using systems all along and never realized what I was doing because I used different jargon to describe the process.

Back when I taught college composition, I walked my students through the same system three different times with each essay they wrote. But instead of a system, I called it an assignment prompt or a grading rubric because that was the terminology that was being used in academia.

In the world of real estate, Realtors even have jargon for the word jargon, which is the LORE acronym. Which, get this. You aren’t hardly going to believe this. Stands for:

• Language

• Of

• Real

• Estate

Anyway. The process I walked my students through for the personal narrative began with the first assignment: 50 random things about me.

• Step 1: Set a 20-minute timer

• Step 2: Write 50 random things about yourself that were better than “I like the color green.” I’d demonstrate on the board and list a few things about myself:

  • I once stole a gravestone.

  • I broke my leg in seven places, having been pushed off a bridge by my brother’s fiancée.

  • I ran over a kid on a bicycle in a Chevette.

  • I used to play chicken on backcountry roads at night without headlights in a Chevette.

  • My friends laced a joint with acid, and I walked up to a police cruiser pretending like I was smoking a regular cigarette while watching Disney-esque pink elephants dance in the night sky, and got away with it1.

• Step 3: Choose one of your random things and write a 2500-word rough draft

• Step 4: Cut 1000 words from your draft

• Step 5: Fix your to-be verbs

  • For example, the phrase“Back when I was teaching college composition” that began the third paragraph of this essay, I changed to “Back when I taught college composition”—see the difference?

The process, of course, much longer than this snippet.

It wasn’t so much an assignment prompt as much as it was a repeatable step-by-step system to produce a piece of writing in a very structured and systematic way. A checklist, almost, if you will. A system designed to take outside of college composition and apply it to any writing assignment in any subject or class.

A business system or a real estate system is the same exact thing. A step-by-step process to produce specific results in a very structured and systematic way. A checklist.

I know that sounds pretty obvious. But if I had to read the MREA a thousand a million times and heard brokers and real estate trainers over and over talk about systems and not have any clue what the heck they were jabbering on about, and I was too scared or too intimidated, or didn’t want to show my lack of knowledge in such a way to ask the question, other entrepreuneurs out there who have the same basic question. So, to that end, I want to show you my Open House system.

Steve’s Open House Protocol

Step 1: Create a quick pre-marketing video of the property a week before the open house. Post it to Facebook, TikTok, and Substack to generate early buzz.

Step 2: Feature the open house as “Property of the Week” in the Friday Footnote newsletter to warm up your subscriber base. That would be this email you get all the time—to cater to your own needs, use whatever method of regular contact you utilize.

Step 3: Order four balloons from Shaw’s Grocery Store for event-day pickup—three look skimpy.

Step 4: Print in color the first page of the MLS agent sheet for three comparable homes. Takes only about five minutes now.

Step 5: Print your flat-fee buyer service flyer to display alongside the comps.

Step 6: Pack 4–5 broker relationship disclosure forms and 4–5 buyer representation contracts for on-the-spot signings.

Step 7: Call the listing agents for your three comps to let them know you’ll be referencing their property and to pre-arrange same-day showing availability. Whether you managed an on-the-spot showing later in the day or not, follow up with the listing agents with a thank-you email.

Step 8: Pack utility gear: a tape measure and a flashlight for buyers who want to measure or inspect closely. Bring toilet paper, paper towels, Windex—cause you never know. I keep an entire Open House “go bag” prepped and ready. See the Substack comments for the complete list of what I pack!

Step 9: Stop for coffee (Dunkin’ Donuts) before heading to the property. This is a vital part of the pre-game ritual.

Step 10: Pick up the balloons on the day of the open house to ensure they’re fresh and full.

Step 11: If summer and no AC: open all windows. If AC: set to 58°F, so buyers feel it is working. In winter: set the heat high so the furnace feels powerful. Turn on all lights regardless of the season or time of day.

Step 12: Light signature scent candles (cedar, birch, tobacco, vanilla) to infuse the space, evoking a warm, nostalgic feel.

Step 13: Set up flyers and comps on the refrigerator, or on a safe alternative surface, using low-tack Scotch tape to avoid damage.

Step 14: Set up the sign-in station on a laptop using your phone’s hotspot for internet access. Capture leads digitally to avoid handwriting issues.

Step 15: Choose a Spotify playlist that matches the home’s vibe to create a cohesive sensory experience. Place the speaker far enough from your greeting spot so it doesn’t interfere with conversation, but close enough that visitors don’t feel you’re listening in on them.

Step 16: Blow out and remove candles 10 to 15 minutes before opening to leave only the lingering scent.

Step 17: Open all doors wide, including the garage, and attach balloons to the outdoor sign. Greet each guest, introduce yourself, ask for their name, record their arrival time, and direct them to the sign-in area. Let them roam or shadow, depending on the vibe, while asking questions.

Step 18: Take detailed notes during conversations to remember specific details for follow-up.

Step 19: On the drive home, verbally dictate all your notes into ChatGPT for preservation and processing.

Step 20: Have ChatGPT compose tailored follow-up emails immediately from your notes during your drive home. When you get home or back to the office, copy, paste, edit, and send the emails while the visit is still fresh in the buyers’ minds.