This April my wife and I will have been married for eighteen years. We often talk about divorce.
I wonder how many other long term relationship couples discuss separation on a regular basis.
Once, Mary asked if we would ever get a divorce, if we’d still have sex. I shrugged in my normal, flippant way. How do you answer a question like that? She smiled knowingly. Maybe she even blushed a bit. Then she said, “I think we would, and it would be really hot sex.”
Then, it was my turn to blush. After all these years together, we are still sometimes shy with each other.
In fact, because these blog posts are very public in a TV-reality show kind of way, the chances of her reading this post are pretty high. I can imagine her response: “You wrote that!?”
The last time we discussed divorce we talked about survival. We have invested so much in each other, we would be lost without the other. And I think then about all the times I have failed as a husband–sinking money we didn’t have into a pizza shop that never opened, not ever buying flowers on Valentine’s Day because I am too cheap, accidentally leaving the bathroom door open to–well, you know, go to the bathroom, never ever remembering her birthday–is it the 7th or the 8th of November? I get around that last one by celebrating both days, but she knows my tricks.
It amazes me she has stayed with me this long, and I am beyond blessed.